


Why Didn't You Tell Me.

by xxlarrylashtongurlxx



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, two part oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-06 20:26:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3147512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxlarrylashtongurlxx/pseuds/xxlarrylashtongurlxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke was in love with Ashton, but he was never going to tell him. Never. Not until one day, he had too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One.

My heart never hurts, not like this. Never. Until he walks into the room, or into my view. He's my idea of perfect. 

He'll never know how I feel about him. I know full well, I'm not his type. It feels as if my bridge is falling down. 

Like a dam's been broken and all the water it  _was_ holding just came crashing down. I always feel like jelly around him. 

My brain never functions well. I can never form words.

I can tell my other mates have noticed something, because when he's not around, they'd tease me about him. About how I act. I act like a love struck fool. 

Which I may as well say that I am. I'm in love with him and there is nothing I can do about it. He'll never feel the same way. It sucks. Every girl wants him. I swear even some guys do, if I'm being honest. Nothing can change what I feel for him. 

He could tell me he absolutely hates me, never wants to see my face ever again and I'd still be truly, madly and deeply in love with him.

If he asked me, I'd tell him outright. But, until then, I'm keeping my gob shut. 

 

\---

 

I couldn't be more happier right now. We walk into a interview, which was a recording of our voices. Not being broadcast on television or anything. When we walked in there, it was only a three seater sofa. 

Luckily enough, one of us weren't paying attention, so me and the other two just ran to get a seat. We're all mature,  _honest_. It was only when he noticed, I looked over to him. 

He looked straight at me before coming and sitting on my lap. I mean, he could've sat anywhere else, but he chose to sit on my lap. 

He could've even stole one of the cushions and sat on the floor. Neither of us would've minded. Well, I obviously would have. 

I can't believe my luck! He stated to slip so I grabbed him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He turned to look at me and smiled. 

"thanks, Lukey." I smiled back, that nickname. I glare at anyone else that says it, but him. I'm  _his_  Lukey...well, not his, but you get what I mean. 

"anytime, Irwie." He grinned and turned around again just as the interviewer walked into the room. he sat down and started to talk to us. She asked us the usual questions, ones which everyone knew the answer too already. 'What was it like touring with One Direction?' 'Was life different than you'd expected after going from YouTube to on stage?' 'What does it feel like to have an album out and planning a tour?' You just need to read other magazines, look at other interviews and listen to out answers to know them. I think they're waiting for something juicy, someone to snap, maybe? 

Maybe they'll get it... Maybe if I come out as bi, they'd get what they wanted. But I can't. Management  _always_ know when I'm thinking of saying it. To come out with it. They always look at me with a look that practically says ' _if-you-say-anything-we-will-end-you_ ' and that stops that idea. 

Well, today's going to be different. I'm going to do it. Because managements not in here. They can't tell me what to do. It's actually live, so once it's out, it's out. No going back.

No saying it was a mistake. People need to know. _I_ need to know. I need to know if he'd going to be disgusted at me. I know he still talks to people who are gay, bi or pan, but, they're only fans. He doesn't have to deal with them daily. Not like he does with me.

"So, do any of you have girlfriends, or maybe someone you're interested in?" I let the other three answer. All no's to girlfriends. But I'm shocked when I hear Ashton's got his eye on someone.

I frown before I say what I'm going to say. No matter what, I'm saying it. 

"Actually, I have my eye on someone as well. I can't say too much though." Everyone turns to me. She asks me the usual question  _'what's she like?'_ "um, it's actually a...he." Michael and Calum don't look too shocked, I'm scared to look at Ashton, but I catch a glimpse. He's frowning, oh no. Bad idea.

"Oh, so you're..."

"Bi-sexual, not gay. There's a chance for everyone really."

She continues on for a while, forgetting about the question that made it come out before she let us leave. I'm instantly bombarded with management asking what did I think I was doing, am I mad, telling me that this could ruin us. 

"Look, I don't care. I need to be me, I need to be true to not only myself, but my  _bandmates_ as well as the fans. You couldn't stop me telling my bandmates, so I did. It so happened to be in the middle of a  _live_ interview. Not sorry about that. They all needed to know. They'd rather the truth then a bunch of lies." I walk away from them and walk towards our van. Normally me and Ash sit in the very back together, but not now. I look into the van and see he's brought Michael to the back instead. 

I sit down next to Calum and frown. I don't really want to be questioned about it, so I just put my headphones in. Out of everyone who could've think I was disgusting, it was him. The guy I was madly in love with. I lean my head against the window and try my hardest not to cry. 

No one knows it, but we live in pairs. Michael and Calum, me and Ashton. But I think that's going to become a bit of a problem. We pull up to what we call  _muke's apartment_ and they leave. They say bye to Ashton and the drive, but leave me be. Good. 

And then there were two. I look at Ashton in the rearview mirror the best I can. I wish I hadn't. I looks like he's looking straight at me. I lean my head against the window again, and close my eyes, I can't deal with this. 

 

\---

 

We pull up to our apartment and we get out, both thanking the driver before walking up to the flat. It's awkward...to say the least. I pull our keys out and unlock the door before making a beeline straight to the kitchen to make myself a drink. I feel a presence behind me and look to find Ashton looking right at me. 

"What?" He jumps, startled He mustn't have noticed I turned around. "Why are you just standing there?" He frowns again before going to sit at the table, guess we're going to talk. I sit down facing him. 

"So... You're bisexual." I shrug, I didn't want  _that_ conversation. Anything but. "Why didn't you tell me before?" I look at him. Oh.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"Exactly what I said, Hemmings."

"I didn't know the best time. I wanted to tell everyone, you guys, management, the fans. But...that failed when management kept a good eye on me and found out themselves." He looks confused, he just starting. I continue. "It was a while ago, we were in a club, before we got too much paps around. But, there was a pap there... Luckily management paid them a  _huge_ sum to delete the photo. I was too drunk to know what I was doing... I thought we were in a dark place. Obviously not. I got caught, in the middle of a 'make out' session. Management was furious, maybe that's under exaggerating. They banned me from telling anyone, even you three. But I had too. You're all my best friend. My brothers. You all deserved to know. So I said it live." He seems to understands more and asks me how long I've know. 

"A long, long time. I could've told you when we were just on YouTube, but I didn't have the courage. I'm sorry I've waited this long." He gets up, walks round to me and just hugs me.

 

\---

 

"So, who do you like?" He asked later on, when we're sat down watching telly. I gulp.

"Just some guy." I hear him mutter ' _some special guy_ ' "He's straight...It'll never happen."

"Then why did you say that you liked him?" He has a good point."

"Well, it just helped me say what I needed to say."

"Do I know him?" I consider the outcomes on this. Ashton could try and guess if I said yes. If I said no, on the otherhand, he could want to know his name. Oh, what's the worst that could happen. I just nod. I see his eyes widen. "How close and me and this guy?"

"Very close, please don't guess."

"It's not one of the guys, I know that." I just stare at him. "You'd have better taste than that. Not the one dee boys?" I shake my head, I try not to look at him. It's hard. I just stare at the tv. "Luke, tell me." 

"I can't... And before you even ask why it's be one, I don't want too. Two, it could ruin  _everything._ Three, I'm allowed to keep it a secret." I get up off the sofa and walk straight to my room. I think over what I've just said. I just made it obvious. 

Oh shit. No. He's going to hate me. I grab my phone to call Calum before locking my bedroom door before walking towards my ensuite and lock that door too. Just in case. Calum picks up the phone.

"Hey Cal... Um, just don't speak... I need to say something. Put it on loudspeaker and let Mikey hear. You cannot repeat any of this to anyone. I'd just like to apologize first, for not telling you I was bisexual in the first place... I know I should, you're my brother, but...management stopped me. Ash can tell you the whole story on that when you see him. Erm... and the guy I mentioned about liking? Yeah... I- erm, don't know if you noticed, I'm getting me being a bit bi was obvious to you two so I wouldn't be surprised if you noticed this. Well, he's straight and I'm in love with him. I know I can't have him, and it hurts, it hurts so, so much. And... um, I've spoken to Ashton about this...and I think I said too much. He asked about him and basically I think I gave too much information out. I told him this guy was very close to all of us. He said it weren't you two and asked other things. Erm, I'm just saying, this could ruin the band, and I'll be prepared to take the blame...I'm in love with him and I'm going to contact management and...leave. I'm sorry you had to hear it like this. I do love you guys." I stop just in case they said anything. And they did. They were literally screaming that I can't leave the bad. Did they not pick up on the whole 'I'm in love with Ashton Irwin' thing? No, alright then/ 

They calmed down before Calum continued. "Oh, and if you think Ash is straight, think again mate. Don't think your gaydars working. He kinda told me and mikey a while back..erm, don't have a go at him. He's actually gay. He was scared to tell you. Speak to him." then he hung up, and I took in everything he said. 

 

\--

there's part one!


	2. Part two :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically what happens after [sorry, no smut this time!]

After the phone call with Calum, I didn't know what to do. Ashton _wasn't_ straight? What? Everyone thought he was straight... I was his best friend... Why would he not tell me, at all? He should've told me when we were downstairs...

Wait, if he's gay then...when he said he had his eye on someone earlier. No, I've got no chance whatsoever. He already likes someone. It isn't going to happen. I sigh, standing up from the floor and exit out of the bathroom. I can't hide in there forever. I drop down to my bed when I hear a light tap on my door. I can't be bothered to answer so I just let them leave and think I'm asleep.

"Luke, I know you're awake." I groan and throw a pillow to the door. I can hear him practically beg outside to be let in. _I've got something I need to tell you_... Oh, I bet you do. I groan before jumping off my bed and going to unlock the door and opening it.

"What?" I don't need this, not right now. I take a good look at him and it looks as if he's been fighting the urge to cry. I cross my arms, not giving into the way he looks.

"I really, really need to tell you something." I just nod for him to continue but I don't get words... He literally pounces on me and kisses me. I stumble back trying to keep myself steady. I don't know what to do. Why is he kissing me?

I guess he's realized because he's pulling back faster than I can reacted. He looks like he's a deer that's been caught in the headlights of a car.

"Sorry...I just...I didn't know how else to tell you..."

"Tell me what Ash?" he really needs to spit it out. This is taking forever. I mean, the guy I love is standing right in front of me, and he had just kissed me, and he’s deciding to slow it back down again? I let out a little cough to tell him to hurry up.

"That I'm gay...and...I'm in...love with you." I stare at him, trying to find a trace of a lie, of a joke... but I find nothing. Absolutely nothing. He loves me? I subtly pinch my skin to see if I feel asleep in the bathroom and I’m actually dreaming. I accidentally pinch too hard and wince. I didn’t want him to notice, but he obviously did… I look at him, but not in his eyes. “Look, I.. I’m really sorry. I can see that telling you was a mistake.”

I widen my eyes, and reach out to grab his arm as he begins to turn away from me.

“So, this person you had your eye on… that you mentioned earlier…” he looks away from me and to the floor “that… was me?” He nods, practically shamelessly. I just smile, but by the look on his face, I’m guessing it might have been a bad idea. “I’m glad.” He just goes speechless. “I… it’s you.”

“What do you mean? It’s me?” I just give out a little sigh and rub my face. I turn and walk towards my bed leaving my door open for him to walk in. I sit down on my bed and wait for him to walk in. Instead of coming over to the bed, he sits at my desk, facing me.

“I mean the guy I mentioned earlier… In the interview. It’s you.” He looks at me, not really giving anything away when it comes to his emotions. “Ash, I’m sorry I never told you. I really should’ve.” I look down to my lap then close my eyes.

I hear the chair being moved, but don’t hear much after that so I just assume he’s left the room… but I know I’m wrong when I feel a little movement on the bed and two fingers on my chin lifting it up.

“Not telling me wasn’t your choice… Me not telling you was. I should be the one apologising, not you.” Before I even got a change to reply, he was leaning forward and kissing me softly. His fingers leave my chin and he moves his hand to rest on my cheek. I can’t help but start to smile into the kiss, which makes him smile.

His smile is literally the best thing about him.

He pulls away from me slightly, and I open my eyes to see him smiling wide, his dimples showing an appearance. I can’t help but giggle and that’s what makes him open his eyes.

“What’s so funny?” I just give a small smile and shake my head before laying down on my bed.

It didn’t take very long before he hovered above me. He just stares at me before leaning down and kissing me once again. Instead of smiling like I did the first time, I deepen it slightly, wrapping my arms around his neck. Him, pulling me up and wrapping his arms around my waist. I don’t know how long we were kissing for but we finally broke apart to catch our breaths.

He shut his eyes, and rested his head against my forehead. He whispered some words which made my heart flutter, and I knew from that moment on. We were meant to be. “ _I love you_.”


End file.
